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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”
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Jake Paul has once again shocked the fighting world with the wild announcement he'll be boxing Mike Tyson on Netflix in a live event. The fight is set for July, and here we are in March with the two already trading jabs over the internet. After seeing them exchange some comments over social media, I can't help but wonder if Paul is making a huge mistake.<br/><br/>There are still quite a few months to go before we get to tune in live with our Netflix subscriptions and see Mike Tyson and Jake Paul throw down, but \
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A CAR CUSTOMISER has built a spectacular Chevrolet low rider boasting over 600 custom parts. Chris Roark, from California, has transformed a 1958 Chevrolet Impala after his previous show-winning car, called The Perfect Score, was destroyed in a crash. Chris told R.Rides: “The Perfect Score was a three time Lowrider Magazine show winner and, on our third title coming home, we were cut off and we got swiped over onto the embankment. The trailer came loose from our toe rig and the car was totalled. That loss, it was very, very tough.” After the accident the other members of the Traditional car club encouraged Chris to create another car in honour of The Perfect Score. From there, The Final Score was born. The impressive lowrider was customised in every way possible with Chris estimating there is close to 600 custom machine parts in the car. This included the door handles, which were shaped for pop doors. The interior was made with full leather ostrich skin, with custom logos engraved on the seats. And everything matches, with the whole engine was engraved to match the outer pinstripe paint. Even the motor was customised, a LS1 that came out of a mid-80s Corvette. Chris told R.Rides: “When I look at the Final Score, I see engineering, craftsmanship and detail.” Despite the success of the original lowrider, Chris’s fans weren’t immediately approving of his new build. Chris explained: “A lot of people didn't take to it when it first came out. They were like, ‘What is this?, this doesn't look good, what are the colours that are mixing?’ “But a couple years went by and now you start to see a lot of people starting to entertain all these different colours.” The lowrider has built up a legion of fans, but will Chris continue building these cars? He said: “It’s tough as you get older, you slow down. I have my son and my nephew that are young guns and they've been keeping the fire under me to keep me going.” Chris’s son, Chris Jr is now leading the next generation of car customizers. Chris Jr told us: “My favourite part of the low rider is when you could get in it and drive, put the top down, just have fun. And they're different, they're unique, not everyone likes low riders, but everyone has their own different tastes. I just like to be behind the wheel and feel the creation of building something that’s unique like this.”
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bofofoshottv
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